Hi Sweet Friends,
I was invited by someone other than my husband to write on our church website. My first thought was, “How sweet.” My next thought was, “We all know where it will be a cold day before I ever write publicly.” Actually, I can’t remember which thought came first. It’s a little hazy. Why open myself up to be judged for my theology, grammar, sentence structure, and giftings and personality, or lack thereof? Coughing up a Christmas letter once a year is about as far as I’m willing to go. I’m a people pleaser. I hate rejection. It’s not just my paranoid imagination speaking of a hypothetical situation. I’ve lived it. So have you. Truth? I’m afraid of you. Bigger truth? I love you. Biggest truth? I love my Lord. I want to be zealous to glorify Him and speak to the hope that is in me. Maybe “zealous” is too ambitious. Passionate people scare me. Nope. On fourth thought, “zealous” is exactly what I want to be. How do I do this without ego? How do I not want to be graded? How do I not want to know what you think? I have no idea. I pray for great humility and an abandoned, obedient heart that seeks only the glory of my Savior. I’m scared! Here we go.
The ladies of the church and added friends are doing a study together called Seamless by Angie Smith. It’s an overview of all of Scripture to see how all of the stories fit into the one big story of God’s great love for and redemption of man. It’s an ambitious project. As I go through the study, I find myself wishing all of the ladies could be together and all of the men could know what we’re learning and be encouraged by it. I’ve been in church my whole life. Bible stories are as familiar to me as the nursery rhymes and fairy tales I learned as a kid. The difference? Scripture is true. It really happened. All that God has said, He has done and will do. Some of the girls shared that they didn’t grow up with these stories and feel a little lost and intimidated by Scripture and discussion in a group. I so appreciate their honesty. We’re all scared. How gracious of God to give us His Word and each other to make His heart known to us. I wanted to share just a few thoughts of how God has shown Himself to me in my time in Scripture these past few weeks. I would love to hear what He has shown you.
I was driving home from Clarksville one night after spending a fun day with Hannah. It was dark (not my favorite), and my speedometer went wacko and lay there like a dead man (especially not my favorite). I had no idea what speed I was going. I couldn’t see anything but the road directly in front of me and the cars I met or blew past from time to time. Wonder what they were going? Did I gauge the truth of my speed according to what they were doing? What if they were wrong? What about when no cars were around? I was guessing and unsure the whole trip home. I had to have something that could tell me the truth about my standing. That’s what God’s Word is to us. It is the truth teller in our lives. It is the only true thing to tell us exactly who and where we are, where we came from and where we’re going, and how and why it all started in the first place. Lots of theories in the world. Only one true story. God’s story. It’s the one He makes know to us through His Word, the Bible, that He so graciously provided and preserved for us so we could know His heart for His creation. We measure everything against it to know what is true. We must be truth seekers if we’re going to make it. WHAT HAS GOD SAID?
Well, that’s kinda how this whole mess got started. Those very words were whispered to Eve in the perfect garden in the world that God made. God uses the words “Us” and “Our” when speaking of creation. There was already a relationship going on before man was made. There is the trinity, the oneness of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit that make up the relationship of one God. I can’t explain or understand it. When I try I can only get so far before fear of an aneurism sets in. I simply believe it because I believe all of the Bible is true. I’ve often wondered why God would want to mess up a perfect union by creating man that He knew would betray Him. Don’t know, but being a parent gives me a little insight. Why do we as a married couple long for children? We know they are hard. We know it could go badly. They will have a choice to love us or not and may choose not. And yet, our hearts long for relationship, to bring children into the relationship of the marriage, to have a family that has our values and heart and love. We can make it sound selfish, but we all know that doing children well is the most selfless thing you will ever do. We want to share and grow the love and have sweet fellowship. It helps me understand our Father’s heart a little better. He wants relationship with us.
Man’s rebellion isn’t God’s first rodeo. He’s seen rebellion in His creation before in the form of a lovely angel that went rogue and wanted to set himself up as God, take God’s place. He was cursed and thrown out of heaven with his followers. It’s Satan (purposefully lowercased) who comes to Eve in the garden and asks the question, “What has God said?” He starts casting doubt of God’s goodness and provision for Adam and Eve. He points out that God has placed a limit on them and that isn’t fair. Then he speaks a bold-faced lie and says, “You surely won’t die.” At first Eve speaks truth to the deceiver, telling him what God said. But she speaks no truth against the second lie, and here we are. God doesn’t force us to love and obey Him. That’s not truly love. He always gives us the opportunity for obedience. Why the limits? Because He’s God and He knows what we don’t know. He knows what’s possible. We don’t. Why do we have baby gates and electric socket plugs? We know the possibilities of babies left to themselves. We love them enough to limit them. God loves us more.
I’ve gone from, “How could Eve be so stupid?” to, “I probably would have done the same thing,” to, “I do the same thing every day of my life.” I believe the lies of my enemy so often. Not the ones about sex, drugs, and rock and roll, though those may be yours. They’re not believable to me, so he speaks to me in half-truths and bold-faced lies about the character of my God and His provision for me and who I am. He tells me I should be afraid. I should control every situation to guarantee I and those I love will be okay. I should work harder so God will like me more. He tells me life is about hurting badly and being disappointed and just doing the best I can. He doesn’t speak to me of meth and alcohol, but he knows the lies that are believable to me and is constantly whispering them in my ear. There is no virtue in which lies we believe and which we don’t. They all have their root in the pit of Hell and speak against the truth of who God is and who we are to Him.
I shared with the ladies about my experience on the way to our study last week. I was going to run through the drive-through at McDonalds to get my signature diet Dr. Pepper. The line was too long and I hated everyone in it because they were going to make me late. No flaws in that thinking. I went in to make it go quicker and I believe God had something to show me there. There was a beautiful little red-haired boy looking at the happy meal toy display while his grandfather was getting his happy meal. I was watching this story unfold and just couldn’t help getting the bigger picture. The boy was hollering at his grandfather and pointing to the particular toy he wanted. The grandfather makes it over with the tray of food and the now unhappy meal, and Little Red has a meltdown because he didn’t get the toy he wanted. Much crying and stomping and throwing of fit ensued. It didn’t go the way he decided it should. Never mind that the grandfather had been gracious and intended to treat his grandson and lavish him with good things. And above all, I’m sure the grandfather looked forward to spending a sweet time with Little Red, having a relationship with him. I left the restaurant with my head shaking. That ungrateful child! Why couldn’t he just enjoy all that his grandfather intended for him? I think we all know who I am in this story. I’m the girl behind the counter sampling the apple pie and frappe and telling everyone to have a nice day. Obviously, I’m the little red-headed boy. Don’t we say at times without even realizing it, “I’ll trust you as long as it doesn’t hurt, as long as it goes like I think it should, as long as it doesn’t cost me anything”?
I noticed as I read through Scripture the last few weeks that I was getting more questions than answers about God. I was getting uncomfortable with some of my feelings. The consequences of Adam and Eve’s sin are harsh but understandable. He doesn’t explain why He couldn’t accept Cain’s sacrifice. Then we get into destroying the whole earth with water save Noah’s family and the creatures on the ark. God then does a number on the people building a tower at Babel and confuses their languages so they can’t continue in their arrogance and sin and have to break up and go their separate ways. I began to hear echoes of Eden whispered in my ear. Why does God do what He does? Why does He sometimes seem cruel and unrelational and distant? Can He be trusted? Does He really love us? Me? I found myself giving audience to the very lies that Eve fell for.
When I recognized the voice of my enemy, I was humbled and began to see the constant grace of God in the limits and course redirections He has made since that fateful day in the garden. In His curse He also foretells of the seed of Eve that will defeat satan. He tells Cain to be humble and make a course correction. He saves humanity through Noah’s family because Noah walked with God. God destroyed life on earth to halt the terrible indulgence of sin by man. He stopped the kingdom building at Babel because He knew the possibilities of man living apart from God. At each point that satan would tell us God is cruel, God is graciously redirecting man back to Himself. He doesn’t force our allegiance, but He calls and invites us to join a relationship that already exists. The limits and redirections have been lovingly put in place to protect us, not deprive us. God will always lovingly redirect our attempts to live independently from Him. He made us for something more.
Why doesn’t God just make everything plain? In English? With a Kentucky accent? Why is Scripture sometimes hard to understand? Why did Jesus answer “yes/no” questions with a story that left some, and me, saying, “Huh?” I like rules. I like black and white. I like to know what is expected of me so I know when I hit it. I’m also lazy. I would rather take a pill than exercise and diet. I would rather watch a documentary on a subject than read a book about it. I would rather do a check list than actually spend time seeking to know God and His heart and His purposes in a relationship. It’s easier. It’s faster. Guess what. I don’t need God for it. Aahhhhh. And there’s the rub. I hear echoes of Eden again. This whole story, all of Scripture is about God wanting a relationship with us and providing a way for it.
I hope to learn much more from this study and our time in God’s Word. I want us to go to God’s heart together. I love you, and I’m praying for you as you recognize the whispers of the enemy and put him to run with the truth of God’s Word.
2 Corinthians 10:5 – “We are destroying speculations and every lofty thing raised up against the knowledge of God, and we are taking every thought captive to the obedience of Christ.
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