Hi Sweet Friends,
When I sit down to write, I‘m never quite sure how it will go. Of course, I have thoughts from reading scripture and the writings of fellow travelers and my own experiences. But how do I lasso so many random and abstract thoughts running and bucking around the corral of my brain and give words to them in an organized and concise manner? How can I truly bless you and not just try to impress you with my insight and seek your validation on my clever use of words? I watch Kevin do it every week as he spends about 20 hours preparing for a 30 to 40 minute lesson. It feels like most of the work isn’t in deciding what to say, but what not to say. As in all things, we pray for God to move our hearts and minds and tongues to express His heart and to tell His story through us. I just watched a documentary on the life of Billy Graham. He spoke to always sticking to what the scripture said when he taught. I heard him say over and over again, “The Bible says…” He believed God when He said in Isaiah 55:11 that His word would not return empty when spoken, but would accomplish His purposes for it. Graham knew he wasn’t clever enough to draw crowds or convince people of their need for Jesus. He simply spoke what the Bible said and asked people if they would accept Jesus as their Savior. We will spend eternity with throngs of people that came to Jesus because God used a faithful man to tell His story. Lord, make us likewise faithful in telling Your story and Your story in us.
Our ladies at church have been in a book study together about God’s story in us and how we can process disappointments, pain, and suffering. Of course, disappointment is in all of our stories. At some point, we all awaken to the fact that things are broken and it hurts to be here, some of us earlier than others. There is indeed a great war that we are all born into. It’s hard and it hurts. Our stories are different, but one common theme remains: the enemy of our souls is constantly lying to us about God. We’re victims, we’re mistreated, we’re abandoned, we’re betrayed, we’re sinned against, we’re hurting, we’re confused, and we feel alone. That is true. But Satan would like to take those hurts and disappointments as proof that God doesn’t love us, doesn’t care, won’t take care of us, and won’t or can’t rescue us. He wants us to believe that God is holding out on us. That’s what he told Eve. And here we are. Ephesians 6:10-11 tells us to “Be strong in the Lord and the power of His might…able to stand against the schemes of the devil.” We have to know how he comes to us, we have to recognize him if we are to stand against him. What are his schemes in your life? How does he come to you? What has been your story doing battle with our enemy? Some of the lies in my story that I have indulged and kept as indoor pets to be cuddled have to do with fear, self-protection, envy, laziness, and selfishness. I know them as well as my own name. I can even defend them as normal human behavior. But beware, normal human behavior has nothing to do with the kingdom of God. Sadly, it’s only recently that I’ve come to the realization that “I don’t want to” is not a legitimate answer when something uncomfortable or unenjoyable is asked of me. When would we ever allow our children to give that as an answer when we had a job for them to do? We are training them to be responsible and productive adults. We want obedience to be a habit for them. We want to train them to deny themselves and do hard things. God is likewise growing us up. We wouldn’t have a Savior if no sacrifice was ever required. So, no. We must be careful to never call sin acceptable or expected human behavior. Be careful too, sweet friends, to not fall into the trap of rating sin. I was recently in a courtroom where I found myself surrounded by a world not familiar to me. Shackled inmates and stoic responses made me recoil. This was certainly the “underbelly” of society that we try to protect ourselves from. For a moment, I was the Pharisee in Luke 18:10-14 saying, “God, I thank You that I am not like other men…” As I watched and prayed, God broke my heart and turned me into the tax collector who beat his chest and cried, “God be merciful to me a sinner!” We are all the underbelly, my dear friend. There is no dark place that my mind and heart can’t go if left unguarded. We are all in desperate need of a Savior. His story in us is always a miracle. So what is God’s story in you? How has He come to you? What awful pains, disappointments, and failures have helped you see your need for a Savior, for grace, for humility, for forgiveness, and for healing? What has God used to show you that no created thing, nothing in this world, can satisfy your greatest need and longing. I love Laura Story’s words in her song “Blessings”: “What if my greatest disappointments or the aching of this life is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can’t satisfy? What if trials of this life, the rain, the storms, the hardest nights, are His mercies in disguise?” Of course everything that we try to use to fill us up must fail. God loves us too much to leave us on that empty path of self-sufficiency and grabbing at everything that flies by to try and prove our value. Our value and hope are in Him alone, beloved. Scarlet Hiltibidal says in her book Afraid of All the Things, “I was so afraid to speak it out loud or even think it – the underlying truth that I wanted the comforts of this world more than the Comforter.” It’s a faithful Father that leads us to that awakening. How has He graced you in helping you see your need for Him and His great love and kindness and provision for you? What gift is greater than the one that leads us to the truth? What is your story?
At the nursing home we visit, a sweet, long-time friend speaks slowly because of a stroke and often has lots to say. She is smart, lovely, and has masters’ degrees, and she is trapped in a body that no longer does her bidding. I love her. I often find myself flitting in and out of rooms with a big smile and a kiss, handing out Bible verses with pretty stickers and dashing to the next room. I would love to not linger and get home with Kevin to watch the Downton Abby series for the third time and relax. I can easily shout blessings while running down the hall and feel good about myself. (I’m pretty sure Jesus never wore tennis shoes. He was never running away from people as I am often so inclined to do. Maybe I should wear sandals more often. Then I would have to do my toenails. Sigh!) One night, my dear friend had a lot to say. She was telling me a lot of her story. I felt like a caged animal and was backing toward the door when I felt the battle between love and selfishness begin to rage. I can humbly tell you that love won as I stayed and let my friend tell her story. It was an important story. She needed to tell it, and I needed to hear it. Yes, I could feel my hair growing and my muscles begin to atrophy, but this was the call. She acknowledged and praised God for her success and His provision for her neediness. She wanted and needed to proclaim the goodness of God, and I needed to join her in it. Revelation 12:11 tells us that Satan is defeated by the blood of the Lamb and the word of the testimony of the saints. Psalm 91;14 says that God will rescue us because we love and acknowledge His name. Psalm 107:2 says, “Let the redeemed of the Lord say so.” God has a story in you. Recognize it. Learn to tell it.
There is yet another reason to tell your story. Yes, it glorifies God and defeats our enemy. But we also have the next generation watching us. Seeing how we react to pain, disappointment, and loss can give them hope and an anchor when it is their turn. Watching sacrifice and selflessness and love in action shows them the heart of God. Humility, forgiveness, and grace give them a standard, an example to follow. Psalm 145 says, “One generation shall praise Your works to another, and shall declare Your mighty acts.” The whole chapter speaks to telling of the greatness and goodness of God. When we do, we are training those who are coming behind us to do the same. Jesus often said to follow Him, follow His example, do it like Him, say it the way He did. We need to do that for the precious children, young people, new mothers, couples, and those new in the Lord that are in our lives. We need to always be aware of what they are learning from us. We need to show how to love someone who is hurting, how to ask forgiveness, how to have people in our homes, how to take food, how to host a grieving family at a funeral, how to ask questions when relating, how to serve a church body, how to love and realize that we are all the least of these, how to speak of Jesus, and how to tell our story. We live it, we speak it, and we prepare the next generation to take our place in kingdom work and to be the body of Christ.
Jewel Harbor was my dad’s first cousin and is in my earliest church memory. I was very young and sickly and she was my Sunday school teacher. She made and brought me a little stained glassed window craft made of colored tissue paper because I missed her class. I remember her handing it to me. She was a constant presence in my church life as I was growing up. She was always working, cleaning, teaching, and serving faithfully. We moved when I was young, but whenever we went back for events, she was always there serving. Flash forward 40 or so years to my grandmother’s 100th birthday celebration back at the church of my childhood. I was amazed to see a very aged and gracious Jewel Harbor buzzing about the kitchen and wiping tables and doing dishes just as she had done her whole life. She lived into her 90’s and never stopped loving and serving. God, help me do it like that. My own parents, now almost 90, still play the piano and lead the congregation in worship on Wednesday nights at their church. God, help me do it like that. And may I live and love in such a way that I can humbly look at those behind me and say, “Do it like this. Love like this. Serve like this. Tell your story like this.”
Our precious ladies’ group is taking turns telling our stories. It’s very vulnerable and humbling. Satan would pierce our hearts with the fear that to expose ourselves would mean certain rejection. He fears our stories because they defeat him and lift up our Savior. I can tell you that the only responses to be heard are, “Me too”, “I’m so sorry”, “It only makes me love and appreciate you more”, “I’m going to fight with you and for you”, and “Praise be to God for His wonderful works.” God has His story in all of us. I would love to hear yours. (I promise to wear my sandals.) “Let the redeemed of the Lord say so!”
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