Jen Gaunce – April 2026

Hi sweet friends,

I’m not sure that this has ever happened in my limited blog-writing experience. I wrote a blog and, as always, read and reread it. It felt a little like confetti thrown in the air, sort of a collection of disconnected pieces; but I often feel that way. My heart was to express my struggles with verses from the Bible about praying and receiving. What do I do with verses used to promise things that I’m not sure God is promising? What do I say to the hurting person who is afraid to ask God for something because the disappointment of another “no” is just too much to bear? And what do we do with our disappointment when reality doesn’t match our expectations? What is God really wanting us to see and ask? When I was praying this morning, God drew my mind to something so obvious that I’m embarrassed to have missed it. I’m so grateful for the redirection. May this rewrite more accurately represent the love and heart of God for us. Let’s plow through this together and ask God to make His thoughts and ways ours.

When I’m looking for verses to send to someone, my heart is for them to have hope and encouragement. I’ve noticed that I steer clear of verses like Psalm 37:4 that say to delight in the Lord, and He will give you the desire of your heart. Or, Matthew 7 where we are told to ask and we’ll receive. God gives good gifts to those who ask. There’s the catch about praying in accordance with God’s will in 1 John 5, but how do I know what God’s will is? I don’t even know what I need or what is best. I just know what I want. And what about Isaiah 43:23 that says that those who hope in God won’t be disappointed, or Romans 5:5 that says hope doesn’t disappoint, or 1Peter 6 that says he who believes in God won’t be disappointed? Really? Because I feel disappointed. A lot. We can’t be talking about the same thing. I want people to be strengthened in their faith and to believe the truth, not led to believe that if we can get the formula right that we can manipulate God to get what we want. I feel that I have heard those verses used to make guarantees and promises that God never made. I don’t want to do that. As Harriet Smith says in Jane Austen’s Emma, “I’m always afraid of making a sick person sicker.” We can grab verses out of context and use them to make just about any point we want. But we long to adjust our thinking to the Word of God, not the other way around. While my dilemma sounds pious in my concern for others, I wrestle with those verses for myself. I believe the question for me boils down to this, can I and will I trust God’s heart for good for me, and am I willing to let Him define “good” for me? As our dear friend C.S. Lewis said, “We are not necessarily doubting that God will do the best for us; we are wondering how painful the best will turn out to be.”  I started this blog thinking maybe other people needed to see something, and, as always, God pulled back the curtain of my heart and invited me in for tea and a nice, long visit. It feels a little like cleaning out a closet. Hang on to the truth, and let go of the things that are comfortable but are just causing a mess.

My daughter sent a clip of an interview with John Piper where he poses the question, “Do you pray like an unbeliever?” It seemed ridiculous until conviction wracked my being. I realized that I often miss the heart of God in my prayers. They are often a grocery list of how I need God to come through for me and those I love. I assume God and I are on the same team and want the same things, so I can pray confidently that it is all in His will. I assume wrongly. Isaiah 55:11-12 tells us that our thoughts and ways are not always aligned with God’s. He knows all that we don’t. How can I pray correctly when I don’t even know the deepest need or what is best? God doesn’t leave us floundering. Romans 8:26 tells us that we don’t even know what to pray for, but the Spirit in us intercedes for us through wordless groans. Don’t you sometimes feel it? The Spirit speaks to God on my behalf all that I can’t. In Matthew 6, Jesus taught His disciples to pray by first worshiping God. Agree with God about His holiness and a longing to see His will and glory. Ask for provision physically and spiritually, and give what He’s given to you. Ask for protection against the enemy. Psalms 44 tells us that God knows the secrets of our heart. Matthew 6:8 says God knows what we need before we ask. And Ephesians 3:20 tells us that God is able to do so much more than we can ask or think. He knows the bigger picture. We are sometimes stuck in a small story, believing that we live in scarcity. God is generous and loves and knows us better than we know ourselves and is firmly committed to our growth in truth and relationship with Him. Whatever it takes. Whatever the cost. We already know what relationship with us cost Him. What are we willing to let it cost us? He declares what we are worth to Him in the sacrifice of Jesus. What do my life and prayers declare that He is worth to me?

Here’s where everything changed for me this morning. I was praying for my kids and grandkids. I was asking God for health and strength for my three unborn grandchildren due this year. I was praying for healing for my friend’s unborn baby that ultrasounds show has health issues. As I was praying, I was aware of praying like an unbeliever, and an American unbeliever at that. It was as if I was ordering at a drive-through hoping that the listener got the order right. No adoration for the God of the Universe that I was privileged and honored and welcomed to be in His presence because Jesus bought that gift for me with His blood. No asking the Spirit to speak for me all that I couldn’t. I wasn’t looking for the glory He is due. I noticed that I seldom ask for the fulfillment of the greatest need of those I’m praying for. My mind seems to be stuck in the physical. Running away from suffering like my hair is on fire is usually my first move. Relief feels like the greatest need and the end game. But the God who made and loves us knows our greatest need. My doctor son-in-law says that he recognizes the worship of comfort and immortality in humanity. Patients come to him seeking relief from pain with absolutely no association with how they live affecting their bodies. They have no intention of needed changes that would greatly affect their health. The sense of responsibility just isn’t there, just the demand to not hurt. And he’s been chewed out plenty of times by unsatisfied customers when he refuses to accommodate their addiction or unhealthy requests. He knows the deeper issues. He’s committed to their health and well-being, even though they aren’t. He’s a good doctor. And God is a good Father.

I want my prayers for those I love to more accurately reflect the heart of God. I want to pray that they realize their need for a savior and accept the gift of salvation in Jesus. That they would be God-worshipers and Jesus-lovers their whole lives. That they would be sensitive to the promptings of the Spirit in them. That they would be protected from the love of money and selfishness. That they would learn to deny themselves the pleasures of the world and value intimacy with their Creator and Savior as their highest goal. That they would agree with God that obedience is better than sacrifice. That they would fulfill the purposes for which God made them and that their lives, no matter how long, would point to Him. I want to join God, not direct Him. And that is when the first part of Psalm 34:7 came alive to me, as if sirens and fireworks were going off and arrows were pointing to it. “Delight yourself in the Lord.” How did I miss it? My concentration has been on my desires, not delighting in God. And it’s not a trick or formula. The truth is that all of my desires change in the light of delighting in my Creator and good Father. Like a one-year-old headed to the street, my good Father runs after me, grabs my hand, and directs me back to the yard to be with Him and the family. I’m never out of His sight or care, no matter how lonely or abandoned I feel. No matter how sad or scared I am, I can rest in being cherished and wanted by a good Father. And when satan tells me I can’t trust God to make me happy, I can agree and remind him that happy isn’t the end game. It is a fleeting emotion that changes instantly when circumstances do. God’s heart for me is so much deeper than that. Feelings matter, they just don’t matter most and are not indicative of the truth. I admit that a lifetime of looking for the desires of my heart has left me a novice at delighting in the Lord. And here’s where that asking verse comes in. I can ask with confidence for God to help me delight in Him. I picture it something like the famous photo of John John Kennedy playing under the desk of President Kennedy. While the president is handling all of the world problems, John John is delighting in playing in the presence of his dad, and the president is delighting in the presence of his son. If John John asks his father for a candy bar and he says no, what happens to the delight? We can expect a two-year-old to throw a fit. But what do we do with disappointment when our desires and goals are thwarted? What is our delight of the Lord in the presence of pain? You know what I’m talking about. Are we fit-throwers? Like us as a parent, God wants us to trust that He is still about our good when not getting what we want feels too tortuous to bear. We’re living an eternal relationship with Him, not a jiffy-lube kind of fix. He sees the long game that we can’t. And He’s committed forever to the good for us and those we love. And if I get earth-shattering news tomorrow, please read these words to me, because pain has a way of making us blind and deaf. Let’s promise to run after each other when one of us is headed to the street and bring each other home. And let’s pray that the desires of our hearts are seen through the lens of delighting in the Lord. It’s a beautiful picture.