Hi Sweet Friends,
I’ve been thinking about sin much as of late. Not mine, of course. I was contemplating the sin of others. You know, the ugly sins. The ones that smell bad. While considering what went wrong in other people’s lives and how to fix them, God suddenly pivoted the floodlight to shine on the hidden and coddled parts of my own heart. Why does He always do that? One answer is found in Hebrew 11:6 which says, “For he who comes to God must believe that He is and that He is a rewarder of those who seek Him.” He gets to choose how He rewards us. It’s always with Himself. I can’t seek God without Him revealing to me the next step in my understanding of the truth of who He is and the truth about me. Any time God hears the words “they” and “them” drip from my lips, He reminds me that the proper words are “we” and “us.” I can easily find myself so angry at the sin of others. When I see what it takes to mop up the aftermath of just one person’s indulgence in selfishness, I want to grab them by the collar and lift them off the ground and scream in their face, “How could you possibly be so selfish?!!! Can’t you see what the consequences of your sin costs everyone around you? Not to mention the name of God. How could anyone be so selfish?” Why is that my response? What is the truth about sin? What is the truth about my sin?
We’ve become very close to the substance abuse rehabilitation ministries in town. I’ve learned so much from our friends there who are battling every day and seeking healing. I’ve learned much about sin that was foreign to me and also much about sin that seemed strangely familiar, like an old sock. One friend told us that rehabilitation should be at least a one-year program, and training and supervision is needed for a long time after that. He said that after a year, an addiction struggler is just then at zero, just beginning to poke his head out of the hole. So much time and training and resources are needed to establish a new way of thinking, and then it must be policed and maintained for a very long time. Forgive my arrogance, but I have lived much of my life deceived to believe that I was somehow different; that those who made good choices and were rule keepers didn’t suffer with entrenched sin. I tend to categorize people. That is simply code for saying that I judge people. My sin just isn’t as repulsive as other’s, is it? Because I’ve been hurt by judging and have done it so many times myself, I’ve become sensitive to not assuming the content and integrity of someone’s heart. Assuming is unfair and unkind and unloving. Always ask for the truth. You may not get it, but give the opportunity for it, nonetheless. As I have heard Kevin say, “There is a judge. It’s just not us.” I also realize that there is a very real enemy, it’s just not you.
I have come to see that I can’t tell you to just stop sinning. Just believe truth. Just think differently. Just make good choices. Stop being selfish. Go to church. Pray more. I have learned much about sin and patterns and wrong thinking and enemy territory from knowing people and learning myself. Salvation, which is found only in Jesus Christ (Acts 4:12 – “And there is salvation in no one else; for there is no other name under heaven that has been given among men by which we must be saved.”) redeems the soul and washes clean and makes us new with the life of Christ in us. Then why do we continue to be so screwed up, so capable of such darkness that is so contrary to who we really are? I’m no theologian or psychiatrist. In full disclosure, I had to spellcheck both of those words. I’m not heavy in the brilliance department, but a light has shone on a thought that many before me have come to, I’m sure, but that is just dawning on me. Though our spirits are redeemed, our bodies and brains remain very much exposed to the experiences and influences of this world and the enemy of our souls. Those parts of us that have been yielded to the enemy need constant guarding and maintenance and care because the natural current of this world takes us to decay and chaos and death. For the most part, all that has transpired in our life stays alive in our thoughts and mind. Where we have knowingly, or sometimes unknowingly, invited and allowed Satan to have access, we have surrendered some territory. It doesn’t mean it can’t be taken back, it just means that the thoughts and images and words are there and will now be a battleground and need guarding with careful watch, possibly as long as our body lives or, perhaps with much work and seeking, relief will come sooner. This first came to light for me in seeing the stronghold of pornography and sexual sin in people’s lives; I’m speaking of the redeemed. The indulgence has allowed the enemy to have ground in the brain that is then a constant battleground. In praying for the men in my life, I pray that they would be terrified of sexual images and see them for the poison and horror that they are. Please don’t turn ground over to the enemy to hurt you and your family. Even as a youth, you are hurting your future spouse and children. Be very afraid. Please don’t create a battleground that will be a lifelong distraction from loving and ministering well. You must know that the consequences of sin are far reaching and will hurt the ones you love the most, the ones you swore to love and protect and cherish. Please, protect them from yourself by never giving the enemy a stronghold to use as a weapon against you and those you love. If the consequences of sin are great, the consequences of grace are far greater. (Romans 5:20 – “…but where sin increased, grace abounded all the more.”) Don’t despair if you have been deceived and been in agreement with the enemy of our souls. So have all of us. It’s what the cross is for. It’s why Jesus came. This letter isn’t to condemn. It’s just my own revelation and confession of my own sin and warning to us all.
You see, I realize that there aren’t just the pitied some who have indulged and given up territory to the enemy. We all have. I have areas of my life and brain that have become habits and hobbies and have felt such a natural part of me that I never recognized the lie that they are about the truth and character of God. What part of my thinking and my life is a daily battle? In what have I indulged so readily that I must fight and scrape to apply the truth? What battle will only be won in me with constant watching and maintenance and application of truth and stewardship and accountability? When I picture me screaming in someone’s face, “How could you possibly be so selfish?” I become fully aware that that is exactly my battle: selfishness. Sounds not so bad, right? You can sort of keep that one a secret. Everybody is selfish sometimes. No biggie. “Get behind me, Satan!” 2 Corinthians 10:5 says that we must destroy everything that is raised up against the knowledge of God. Selfishness goes against everything that is true about God. It flies in the face of all that Jesus is and the example He gave us to follow and the words He spoke to us and His very life in us. Everything that doesn’t want to love and sacrifice like my Lord is selfishness in me. It expresses itself through me in self-protection, comparison, jealousy, bitterness, arrogance, laziness, control, fear, and countless other ways. My longing to just “do me” and seek my happiness is a lie about the character of God and the life of Christ in me. I recognize it. I repent of it. I agree with God about it. And now, I put floodlights on it so the enemy cannot sneak in when I’m not being alert and claim territory. 2 Corinthians 2:11 says that we are not ignorant of our enemy’s schemes, so don’t give him any advantage. Ephesians 4:27 says to not give the devil an opportunity. Ephesians 6:11 tells us to put on the full armor of God and stand firm against the schemes of the devil. Ephesians 6:16 tells us to use the shield of faith to extinguish all flaming missiles of the evil one. There is a reason for the battle terminology. We are at war. Letting our guard down is certain defeat in these earthly raging battles.
Now that I see a little clearer, I must recognize the need for pushing against and guarding and making new plans to prevent our enemy from taking up residence in that part of my brain again. The old ruts and tracks of self-protection and happiness-seeking that my brain naturally tends toward must have new roads built with truth. Selfishness and self-protection are not the path of my Savior, nor should they be mine. It will be painful and sweaty and dirty, and I will need the help of others to guard me and fight with me and help me on this journey. I should never go it alone. I’m claiming enemy territory. It’s a battle. Death is surely involved. Nehemiah told his wall builders to be prepared as soldiers as they worked with one hand and held a sword in the other. In 4:14 he says, “Remember the Lord who is great and awesome, and fight for your brothers, your sons, your daughters, your wives, and your houses.” Suit up! Ride out with me! Fight with me!
One day our bodies and brains will stop. I don’t know all of the theology about the mind and soul. I only know that all of me that Jesus bought and redeemed with His blood will be with Him forever. No more battle with sin and pain. We will see the consequences of our sins in the scars on the hands and feet of Jesus. And all will be well.
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